Yeah sure, life in Holland is great! It’s mostly a very safe country. We have plenty of social services, and overall, it seems as if the government is taking good care of their citizens. But while most websites highlight the pros of living in The Netherlands, we also list the cons—at least we’re honest.
Everything I say in this post is my personal opinion. It’s wholeheartedly subjective and biased and probably says much more about me than about the country in the title. Please don’t get offended in any way. Laugh about it. Or simply click away. For what it is worth, I did consider the title ‘What’s great about Holland’ and then sum up all the positives. But there is so much of that already. It is much more fun to talk about what makes Holland strange, peculiar, weird. Indeed, everything that makes Holland suck.
The first, and perhaps the most obvious, why on EARTH does it rain an average of 217 days per year? That’s 59,5% rain per year with more than 0,1 mm rainfall. But perhaps I don’t have any right to complain, while writing this part I actually found out that there are 101 countries with more rainfall than The Netherlands. The average annual rainfall in The Netherlands is only 790 mm, whereas the islands of Sao Tome and Principe have an average annual rainfall of 3200 mm. More information of annual rainfall per country can be found here.
Speaking of complaining, did you know that complaining actually pays a mayor part in Dutch culture? Even to the point where old people don’t know how to socialize without complaining about everything. “Wat een rotweer hè?”, loosely translates into “The weather sucks, right?” and could be one of the most spoken sentences in the Dutch language. As a customer service employee, I know all about nagging old folk, they call me every day!
As I’m beginning to write this part, tears are filling my eyes. My hands are shaking and my knees are weak. Depression is slowly beginning to devour me. Why? Just WHY don’t we have any hills and mountains? Now, don’t be a smartass by telling me that Limburg has a mountain, that’s not a mountain, that’s a heap of sand. These flat green pastures is not what I signed up for! Why do you think Dutch people go on vacations so much? We just get enough of flatland, we want mountains and hills!
The food. Dutch cuisine sucks. But wait! We do have stroopwafels, frikandellen, broodje kroket, soesjes, tom poucen and Bossche bollen. That kinda makes up for it. But what I’m talking about is stamppot. Stamppot rauwe andijvie, hutspot, zuurkool (sauerkraut) and witlof. Take vegetables, potatoes and gravy, mash them together until it’s unrecognizable and viola! dinner is served!
The stereotype. One of the reasons why I began promoting The Netherlands on Instagram, and later on Facebook, is because I want to break the stereotype. I can’t begin to tell you the amount of times where people on the Internet asked me where I live, and when I answered “The Netherlands”, the conversation changed into weed, pot, marihuana, hash and cannabis. I’ve lived here for 22 years, I’ve never once done drugs. And when my brother-in-law came to The Netherlands, he thought there were no churches and that all men were homosexual—another stereotype. Or how about Amsterdam being the capital of sex with their stupid Red Light District and sex museum. There’s so much more to these 41.000 square kilometers than sex and drugs!